By Ann Sullivan
Is he or she flirting with you or just being nice? Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference. Some people will tease as a sign of affection. This can make it more confusing, especially if it annoys you, and they’re just using that to get your attention. If they seem to act the same way around other people, either they’re one huge flirt, or just being themselves and it has nothing to do with you specifically. There are some definite signs that may make it easier to tell if someone interested in you or just a nice person being friendly.
1) They Look You in the Eyes
A common sign a guy or a girl is flirting with you is when they make direct and constant eye contact while talking to you. He or she may not even realize they’re doing it. It’s natural when a person is interested, to look their object of affection directly in the eyes. They may be looking for signs in your eyes to see if you’re interested, or may be so intent on showing interest that they can’t take their eyes off you. If they really like you, they won’t let distractions get in the way of eye contact with you. A man will keep his eyes pinned on you and not look around the room. A woman will often combine direct eye contact with a touch, such as putting her hand on your arm. Studies have indicated that maintaining direct eye contact can cause people to fall in love.
2) He’s Leaning, She responds
This sign was made famous in the movie “While You Were Sleeping.” Lucy, played by Sandra Bullock, is talking to Jack outside her apartment building. They both have a crush on each other. Joe Jr., who also has a crush on Lucy asks, “Hey, Luce, is this guy bothering you? … ‘Cause it looks like he’s leaning…. I’ll be right over here if you need me.” If a woman is standing against the wall and the man leans in towards her, often with his arm against the wall, that’s “leaning.” If the woman is responding, or is the initiator of the flirtation, she will often grab on to his arm, or an article of clothing, and pull him closer. In either case, it’s a way to create a personal circle of space between you that is often difficult for a third person to interrupt.
3) The Let You Know They’re Single
One surefire sign that a man or woman is flirting with you is they let you know their relationship status fairly quickly. This may be in a subtle way in the case of a woman, like telling a story about her ex to casually drop it into the conversation. She may be even subtler and friend request you on Facebook so you can see her obvious “single” status. And you can be sure she wants to know yours, if she hasn’t already looked it up! A man will often be blunt and straight to the point. Most guys want to know right away if you’re available. Oftentimes they’ll be impatient and if they don’t come right out and ask, they may start asking probing questions in order to find out. This may seem subtle to the man, but most women catch on pretty quickly!
4) Jokes and Pitch
If a man has a sense of humor, he may get your attention by telling jokes, or joking around. This can be funny and a way to get you to laugh, and therefore get your attention. He may go so far as to make fun of you, such as something you’re wearing. If he does this in a light and not mean-spirited way, it may be one of his techniques to engage your attention. Women, whether joking around or not, will usually raise the pitch and speed of their speech. This is due to the adrenaline rush, combined with excitement, and may happen on a subconscious level. If you happen to hear her speaking with her girlfriends or a guy she’s not into, notice the tone and speed of her voice. If these become elevated when she’s speaking with you, you can be sure she’s into you.
5) Compliments You
If a guy wants to get your attention, he’ll give you a compliment. Whether it’s something you’re doing or something you’re wearing, he’ll find a way to convey his interest in this manner. This is a definite sign of flirting. He may ask what perfume you’re wearing and tell you how great you smell. He may compliment you on your hair, your eyes, or your smile, for example. Women do the same thing and are quick to notice something they can mention. If you walk into a room and she comments on your shirt, your beard, your hair, your shoes, you can be certain she’s interested and wants you to know it. In either case, if a man or woman is interested they will have their eyes on everything about you and will make certain to use something to indicate they’ve noticed it. This is a clear sign of flirting.
6) They’re Always Popping Up
If he or she seems to pop up frequently and seemingly coincidentally, you can be sure they are interested and making the most of every opportunity to make their presence known. If you travel in the same circles and suddenly they are frequenting the same places you do, they’re making a point to be seen by you and making the most of every opportunity to flirt with you. Granted, if you’re not interested, this could be kind of creepy and border on stalking, especially if they’re the awkward type. It’s most likely harmless though. It can, however, come across as complimentary if someone is making a point to spend time around you. They may also make their presence known by liking and commenting on your Facebook posts. So long as they don’t start liking and commenting on every photo and post in your profile. That could also be weird!
7) Questions & Conversation
It may be out of nervous attraction, or a genuine way to get to know you better. Researchers found that men ask more questions when flirting than women do. They also use “you” and “we” often when speaking to a woman. If a man seems to ramble on asking you everything under the sun, he’s trying to keep your attention and get you to notice him. Women who are flirting, on the other hand, will usually initiate the conversation and work the questions in a subtle fashion. Women are great listeners and will often interject comments into the conversation. If they do start asking questions, they will usually, initially at first, ask about something you’ve said to show they’re interested in you. Once things have warmed up a bit, they may kick it into the next gear and start asking you the things they really want to find out!
8) Attention is Only on You
You could be in a crowded bar or restaurant, at the beach or a park, or anywhere there are a lot of other people. If a man has his attention on you and his head doesn’t turn when another pretty girl walks by, you can be certain he’s flirting with you. It’s a man’s instinct to look, no matter what. If you’re the only one he’s looking at, and he’s not scanning the room or turning away for any reason, he’s interested. A woman, on the other hand, will use body language while she has her attention on you. She may twirl her hair or tap you on the shoulder or arm while laughing or smiling at something you’ve said. In either case, the flirtation going on takes on a space all its own, where usually no outside distraction can break it.
9) They Light Up When They See You
Whether you’ve met before or not, if a man or woman lights up when you walk in the room, it’s hard not to notice. They may keep their eye on you as you walk across the room, or be more direct and give you a wink, a smile, or a wave. In any case, you can tell by a person’s face they’re excited to see you. Facial expressions tell a lot. Some may even blush a little. If a man or woman’s expression completely changes upon seeing the person they’re after, it’s hard not to see theexpression on their face, like a glow lamp was just turned on. When their eyes follow you until you are face to face, that’s another clear flirtatious sign. And, if they’re smiling and keeping their eyes steady on you, as if no one else is in the room, you can be certain they’re interested.
10) They Ditch Their Friends
If a guy or a girl has shown up with a bunch of friends, at a bar for example, and opt to ditch them to be with you, that’s a sure sign of flirting. They’ve forfeited time with their girl or guy pack in favor of putting their undivided attention on you. This is a sign of ceasing the moment to flirt with you. Most friend packs, especially singles, have an unspoken code. The friends will usually catch on quickly why you’re ditching them in favor of flirting with the object of your attraction. Sometimes you may get some chuckles, pointing and comments from your friends as they rally to the other side of the room. In most cases, they’re cheering you on and may actually accelerate the flirtatious conversation between the two of you.
11) Don’t Wait to Contact
Here’s another surefire sign he or she is flirting. Say you’ve just exchanged phone numbers and parted ways. If he or she doesn’t wait the customary 3 days, they’re definitely flirting. They may send a text or email you or start making excuses for contacting you. They’re probably anxious to know if you’re interested as well. A guy may call you for no reason and ask unimportant questions just to keep the contact fresh. He may be one of those guys who sends funny memes to keep you laughing and keep your attention on him. If you’re the kind of girl who doesn’t care about dating rules and protocol, you may send him a flirty or cutesy text to let him know you’re thinking of him. In either case, if the object of your flirtation responds, then you know your flirting is about to go to the next level.